The Perfect Crime?

It hit me yesterday that the Colts are 9-0. We are about to witness a flood of obnoxious articles about their quest for perfection. This being one of the first.

Colts fans will be reminded of the 13-0 start to 2005. We'll hear Tony Dungy's thoughts and be reminded of some difficult what ifs. We will be reminded of New England's EPIC FAIL. We'll hear about the Dolphins and their champagne. We will talk about what it would mean for Manning (or Brees) to go where no man has gone before.

But first let's agree on a couple ground rules:

1.) Perfection means 19-0. Obviously. We associate 16-0 with Tom Brady. We associate 16-0 with failure.

2.) Perfection is not the goal. Again, this is obvious, but it has to be said. The goal is playing in Miami in February. Perfection is just something fun to talk about while we wait for the playoffs.

3.) This website won't mention perfection again until after this road swing (@Baltimore, @Houston). At that point the Colts would be 11-0 and over halfway towards perfection. They'd still have to win another 8 games in a row. Highly improbable? Yes.

4.) We don't get excited about perfection unless the team gets much better. If the Colts get to 14-0 the natural reaction will be to start freaking out. But I won't be joining in the hoopla there unless the team improves drastically. Indy needs to amp up its running game, receiver corps, and overall line play. In the event that Anthony Gonzalez and Kelvin Hayden come back better than ever I reserve the right to start freaking out.

5.) If the Colts go undefeated... we are all getting 19-0 tattoos. I'm not a tattoo guy, but I'm doing it. You are too.

6.) If the Colts go 18-1... I am getting hammered on pills and booze with JC. I'll be in south Florida anyway for the game.

(Okay, now I kind of hope they lose to Baltimore this weekend.)

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By 18-1...
written by Fitzpatrick, November 19, 2009

Stupid Question-By 18-1, you mean a perfect regular season and a Super Bowl loss right?

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written by DZ, November 19, 2009

I'll tat up. I'll get it on my butt with the words, "Kiss it, Patriots!"

No. I won't.

Or something.

I'll get the tattoo
written by dmstorm22, November 19, 2009

however, 18-1 is mighty fine, except in one case.

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written by jpjandrade, November 19, 2009

Totally agree with all of them, specially no. 4.

I won't begin to get hopes of a superbowl unless the offense starts dominating again AND SOMEONE FREAKING TEACH GARÇON HOW TO CATCH A BALL.

Until then, I'll stay nervous and afraid before a game, thanks.

#2
written by m@, November 19, 2009

for me, the goal is winning in miami in february

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written by J.C., November 19, 2009

My goal is to get completely hammered on Pills and Booze with Demond.

I got the hookup bro.....

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written by DemondSanders, November 19, 2009

Ah, fantasy football. The only thing that could get me to watch this meaningless Thursday night game.

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written by DemondSanders, November 19, 2009

I didn't go to XLI, and while I don't regret it (I would have been a wreck)... there's no way I'd miss another one.

So yeah... uppers and downers with JC!

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written by 35er, November 19, 2009

I'd like to go 15-1 for the regular season. Even if we fix all our problems before the playoffs get here and we're still undefeated, I don't want to go through the whole post season talking about completing the perfect season. I say we win this Sunday, lost at Houston the following week, and win out the rest of the way all the way down to Miami.

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written by iansb, November 19, 2009

If Peyton took this team 19-0 it would be the best season by any quarterback in the history of the league.

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written by J.C., November 19, 2009

As you're a little younger than your brother (I'm pretty sure you're 29, is that right?) and a little more combative (my style), I'd be happy to host you at my ridiculous waterfront condo in Bay Harbor.

If you're not familiar with Bay Hrbor, Florida - well, it's where Dexter Morgan lives.

Anyhow, if you make it down here for the Superbowl (Which would mean we're not in it), I'd hook you up with some s**t, shake your hand and wish you luck, then probably sucker punch you as you walked toward your rented Sebring Convertible.

How's that sounds pal??

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written by J.C., November 19, 2009

The title of that was supposed to be 'Demond'

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written by Monkey Business, November 20, 2009

No, you magnificent bastards! You've ruined it. YOU never say it. EVER. You let the sports hosts say it. You let Peter King say it. You let everyone else say it. But YOU never say it. Welp, that's it. Caldwell is going to rest his starters Week 17, and we're going to lose to Buffalo. We'll get our first round bye, but we'll have the Pats, Chargers, or Steelers, who have knocked us out of the playoffs our last 5 exits. Dammit to hell, you've ruined it! This is why we can't have nice things!

Where?
written by Doug England, November 20, 2009

Are we all getting the 19-0 tats in the same place? And if so, where?

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written by Monkey Business, November 20, 2009

There's only one place to get a 19-0 tat.

In the words of Tyrese Gibson in Transformers:
"Left cheek! Left cheek! Left cheek!"

#5 and #6 very funny
written by Bob M, November 20, 2009

Sorry, no tattoos, anywhere, ever. Slippery slope downhill to Mike Tyson's sideways face-fangs. And nobody wants that.

I would also avoid going to the game (though a good combinations of uppers and downers would probably keep you mellow, but awake, so there's THAT to consider), but I am a crowd-phobic. (When UW beat USC earlier this year, it was cool to watch the crowd storm the field for a moment, and then get the hell out of there fast while I knew the roads would be empty and my kids untrampled.) Then again, aside from the Rangers' 94 Stanley Cup win (which I also avoided attending), I never really celebrated a giant win with a lot of like-minded fans. Probably fun, hunh? High-fiving a 6 year-old a few years ago doesn't count.