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Just for Fun

Written by Nate Dunlevy

Saturday, 06 February 2010 07:12

For two weeks now, we've hashed and rehashed this game. There's nothing left to talk about it. It's time to just play it.

Come Monday, you will all either be so happy that nothing I could do would add to it or so depressed that I won't be able to help you.

Today however, we're all nervous, excited, bored, worried, whatever. I figured that maybe I can cheer you all up.

Yesterday, I introduced in the Daily Links one of my favorite games.

Today, I offer it up to all of you as a happy distraction. Back when I worked at a video store, a buddy and I used to play a game where we re-wrote the endings to movies. Every movie had to end with the main characters saying the title of the movie and giving each other a high five. The movie would end with them in freeze frame. Makes sure you click the link (and read the comments) for some very good examples. Without further ado,

18 Movies Endings Greatly Improved By A High Five Freeze Frame

1. The Usual Suspects-Kevin Spacey limps out of the police station and meets his lawyer. Before getting into the car he says, "They never guessed that I was Kaiser Soze! That's because I wasn't one of the Usual Suspects!". They high five...freeze frame.

2. Return of the King-Frodo looks at Sam and says, "I guess we showed Sauron who was the real Lord of the Rings!". They high five...freeze frame. Disclaimer #1: I know the movie isn't called Lord of the Rings. Sue me. Disclaimer #2: This movie is almost disqualified, because in Fellowship of the Ring, they practically did this scene. When Elrond proclaims "They shall be called, 'The Fellowship of the Ring!'", all that was missing was the high five. Great movie...awful scene.

3. Top Gun- Tom Cruise says to Ice, "I guess we showed those Russians who was Top Gun!". Sexually ambiguous high five, freeze frame. Alternate ending #2: Tom Cruise tells Ice, "Would you like to see my Top Gun?".

4. Return of the Jedi- Obi Wan, Yoda and Anakin appear to Luke as force ghosts. Obi Wan turns to Anakin and says, "Now that's what I call a Return of the Jedi!". Ghostly high Five...freeze frame.Disclaimer: This may actually get edited into the Blue Ray version.

5. Chinatown- Walsh turns to Jake and says, "Hey, whatta you gonna do? That's Chinatown!". High five, freeze frame. Disclaimer: That's more or less what happened anyway? Right?

6. Platoon-Taylor says to the chopper pilot, "Man, that was one badass Platoon!" High five, freeze frame. Disclaimer: If Charlie Sheen had written his own lines, that's what would have happened.

7. Raging Bull-An old Jake La Motta greets patrons at the restaurant with the line, "When I was younger, I was a real Raging Bull!". He high fives the customers...freeze frame.

8. The Matrix-Neo steps out of the phone booth, turns to Trinity and says, "It won't be long before we take down The Matrix!" High five...freeze frame. Disclaimer: This would have vastly improved The Matrix: Revolutions.

9. A Beautiful Mind-The Nobel committee announces, "We'd like to give the Nobel prize to Russel Crowe because he has A Beautiful Mind!" Norwegian high Five, freeze frame.

10. The Sound of Music-After escaping the Nazi's Mr. Von Trapp says to Julie Andrews, "Hey! The hills really ARE alive with the Sound of Music!" Musical high five, freeze frame.

11. Brokeback Mountain-Jack says to Alma Jr."You're getting married? May I suggest a honeymoon on Brokeback Mountain". Uncomfortable high five...freeze the frame.

12. Inglorious Bastards-After carving a swastika in the head of Hans Landa, he screams, "You Inglorious Bastards!" Aldo and Utivich high five, and freeze frame. Tarantino would have done this had it occur ed to him.

13. Pride and Prejudice-Elizabeth says to Darcy at the wedding, "I'm so happy we overcame our Pride and Prejudice!" Darcy gives her repressed Victorian eyes which say, "Oh yeah, we are doing it tonight!". High five, freeze frame.

14. Star Trek II-Kirk turns to McCoy after watching Spock's body soar toward the planet below and says, "I never knew how much we'd feel The Wrath of Khan!" Somber high five. Freeze frame.

15. There Will Be Blood-Plainview says to his butler who is shocked at the murder, "I told you all along that There Will Be Blood!" The butler shrugs, laughs, and they high five. Freeze frame.

16. Cider House Rules-Homer performs an abortion on a patient, who declares, "The Cider House Rules!". Effeminate Toby Maguire high Five, freeze frame.

17. Dead Poets Society-Instead of saying, "Oh Captain, my Captain!" Ethan Hawk stands on his desk and shouts, "Thanks, Robin Williams for helping us start the Dead Poets Society!". Everyone stands up and cheers and the camera freezes on a group high five. Way better if you ask me.

18. Guess Who's Coming to Dinner-Spencer Tracy turns to Kate Hepburn and says, "I guess next time I won't have to Guess Who's Coming to Dinner!". Classic actor high Five and freeze frame.

Feel free to add your own suggestions to the comments.

Comments (21) Add Comment

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...
written by ColtsHeadBen, February 06, 2010

Empire Strikes Back: On the medical ship, Luke is talking to Lando on the comm. Luke says, "I'll meet you on Tatooine...then it'll be OUR turn to strike back!" With his robotic hand, he high-fives the medical droid. Freeze frame.

-1

For every movie that ended that way,
written by A.J., February 06, 2010

... there'd be a review that consisted of nothing but this picture:

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
written by Zac P., February 06, 2010

Instead of riding off on the horses, Indy exclaims, "I guess we just finished the Last Crusade!," every character exchanges high fives while on horseback, freezeframe.

FIN.

-1

...
written by DZ, February 06, 2010

That almost made my list.

-1

...
written by Drew Funk, February 06, 2010

Daisy: Leave us, Boolie.

Boolie: Guess she wants you all for herself, Hoke. I'll be in the car.

Hoke: Who'da believed I met my best friend while Driving Miss Daisy?

(high five)

-1

...
written by Drew Funk, February 06, 2010

Jones: Meow.

Ripley: Me too, Jones. I hope we've seen the last of that Alien.

(high five)

-1

Braveheart...
written by Doug England, February 06, 2010

Instead of going off to battle as "warrior poets", a Scottish clansmen turns to his comrade and says, "let us fight with a Bravehart today". At which point, with one of their hands they give each other a high five, while with their other hands they lift their kilts to give the British a real salute.

-1

GWTW
written by Doug England, February 06, 2010

Rhett to Scarlett, "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn... our relationship is Gone With the Wind". At which point Rhett high fives a smirking Mammie...

-1

Sappiest...
written by Doug England, February 06, 2010

ZuZu: "Look daddy, teacher says everytime a bell rings, an angel gets his wings."

George Bailey: "Thats right. Atta boy Clarence. It's a Wonderful Life!"

Father/daughter high five, not a dry eye in the house.

-1

Return of the Sith
written by Doug England, February 06, 2010

Obi-Wan: "...give it up, you can't win. I have the high ground."

Anakin: "Uh, so. I'll just use my Jedi powers, to leap twenty feet in the air, with two and a half twists, land gently on my feet and I'll have the high ground... and it will be Return of the Sith, as I will have the upper hand."

George Lucas: (Of camera, slapping his forehead) "Of course, he would do that, what the hell was I thinking."

Anakin and Obi-Wan: (together) "We've been trying to tell you that since the first time we read the script." (High five each other.)

-1

The Phantom Menace
written by BDiddy, February 06, 2010

After having struck down Darth Maul, we have the burning of Qui Gon.

Mace Snakes on a Plane: "Only a Sith Lord could have done this."

*Yoda ignites lightsaber and decapitates Jar Jar.

Yoda: Yes. Is dead the Phantom Menace though.

-1

Fight Club
written by bubbadeez, February 06, 2010

Marla "I haven't been f**ked like that since grade-school"

Tyler Durden looks at the camera, then at Maral

Creepy-Schizophrenic-pedophile-High-Five
Freeze frame. Jump-Cut to the 'Narrator's' disgusted face.

Disclaimer I wouldn't end the movie on this, just use it as a transition back to the kitchen and the story.

-1

Better Brokeback Mountain
written by bubbadeez, February 06, 2010

Replace the final scene at the water, with another "tent-scene"

Tom Brady gets thrown in the man-love-mix, and the original actors seal him up from each end. High-five over "The Warrior's" back.
Freeze frame.
Movie ends.

Disclaimer JC called Tommy Boy a warrior a month or so ago, and it tickled me so much, that I love to call him "The Warrior" now.

-1

...
written by W_Joel, February 06, 2010

If Gordon had high-fived his son at the end of The Dark Knight, this scenario would have really occurred.

Here's another:

Katsumoto falls onto his sword, looks up at Nathan Algren, and says, "Now YOU are The Last Samurai." They high-five, Katsumoto dies, and Algren quietly weeps onto his copy of Dianetics.

-1

Mr. E
written by John E., February 06, 2010

THE GODFATHER: Just moments after the hits ordered by Michael Corleone wipe out any competition from the heads of the rival mob bosses and he's had his brother in law Carlo murdered he gets into the drivers seat and drives off down a long road along side a cliff. As he approaches the cliff edge he turns around to Clemenza in the back seat and says "That was the best Baptism EVER! They high five, Michael turns up the radio which is blasting "Get out of my dreams, get into my car" by Billy Ocean, Clemenza tosses Carlos' now rigarmortissed corpse off the cliff and they ride off towards the sunset. Fade to black

...
written by John E., February 06, 2010

UNFORGIVEN: William Munny has just laid waste to the the saloon and killed Little Bill Daggett. As he walks toward's the door a man that he previously shot moans and Munny shoots him again. Strawberry Alice, the head prostitute at the saloon, walks up and they exchange a big high five with huge grins on both of their faces. Freeze Frame. Munny immediately returns to the "Clint Eastwood" face and says "Now pay me you whore!" Fade to black

I'm black so don't get upset, it's a joke
written by John E., February 06, 2010

Fried Green Tomatoes: Evelyn Couch and Ninny Threadgoode give each other a big hug at the conclusion of one of their meetings at the retirement home. Evelyn says "Your life story has helped me so much in mine". Ninny smiles and says "if you've learned one thing from me I hope it was this...It never hurts to keep a large negro around". Ninny enthusiastically throws her hand up for the high five. Evelyn looks at her with a disturbed, confused look on her face. Fade to black.

Last one more I promise
written by John E., February 06, 2010

I AM SAM: Sam and his lawyer Rita are waiting for the Childcare Services representative to bring Lucy home. As they walk in the door Lucy runs to Sam and they exchange in a heartwarming embrace. Rita looks on with a proud expression. Sam looks up at her and they smile at each other. He jumps up clumsily and they go for the high five. Sam, who if you haven't seen the movie isn't exactly coordinated, misses Rita's hand completely and follows through with one hellacious double slap of both the Child Care Services lady and Lucy, breaking the woman's nose and knocking out two of Lucy's teeth. As the woman takes Lucy away, Close up on Sam as a single tear rolls down his cheek. The Monkee's "Day Dream Believer" blasts in, adding one last middle finger. Fade to black.

You have all just set Western Civ back about 150 years
written by Bob M, February 07, 2010

And for that I high-five you all.
(freeze frame)

Okay, a few:
SPOCK: I submit my application to be your first officer.
KIRK: I'd be honored. And I'll be your captain.
TOGETHER: And together, we'll go on a Star Trek. (high five, freeze frame)

BUD FOX: Dad, Gekko's in jail, and your company has been recapitalized--you and hundreds of other hard-working blue-collar guys have your jobs back.
MR FOX: I knew you had it in you, Bud. You showed them how things SHOULD be done on Wall Street. (high five, freeze frame)

MICHAEL CORLEONE: If history has shown us anything, it's that we can get to Moe Greene. That, and that *I* am the new Godfather! (high-fives self. freeze frame)

DAN DEVINE (as his players stream off the field he points out one): You. It's You. You're the one they all called for.
RUDY (sheepish): I--I guess so, coach.
DEVINE: Don't be so humble. You can do anything you set your mind to... do you know why? Because you're RUDY! (high five, freeze frame)

WESTLEY: YOu'll make a wonderful Dread Pirate Roberts.
INIGO MONTOYA: And you will make a wonderful husband for The Princess Bride. (high fiver, freeze frame)

I shame I couldn't get Count Rugen in there for a high-six, but he was killed already!

I think I will now be sick. But first, a shower.

Anybody recall how Steel Magnolias ended?
written by Bob M, February 07, 2010

Surely that's worthy of a high five.

Oooh, Saving Private Ryan--either before the whole squad gets killed, or 5 decades later in the cemetery with Ryan's grandson's saying "Don't worry, Gramps, they were just saving Private Ryan!"

Schindler's List (I sicken myself even more) or Philadelphia (way out of bounds now) or Terms of Endearment (Hello, Hell, I have a reservation for one....) maybe Dudley Moore and John Geilgud in his death scene in Arthur or John Dunbar and his Lakota BFF in Dances with Wolves. Wait, that is more or less how they parted at the end anyway.

ELLIS "RED" REDDING: I hope to see my friend some day on a beach in Mexico. I hope. And when I see him, we'll high-five and I'll thank him for the Shawshank Redemption.

I now officially despise myself. Like a Pats fan, only cursed with self-awareness.